


F*ck the System

by xBubble_Teax



Category: Dir en grey, Jrock, Sadie (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Eventual Romance, Gay Sex, M/M, Mild Language, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 19:59:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10929006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xBubble_Teax/pseuds/xBubble_Teax
Summary: Mao can't stand Kyo's egotistical and self-centred attitude once his vocal chords decide to fail under the strain. It's only when they end up in a full blown argument that they realise their passion for each other is like no one else's...





	F*ck the System

 

 

*

 

Mao tapped his foot carefully against the metal microphone stand and sighed gently. The echo of a staff member’s voice resounded somewhere over his right shoulder. Kei fiddled with his snare drum. Aki fingered the G-string of his bass when Mao knew he would rather be doing that to a girl right now. Mizuki mumbled a few “Ah”’s into his microphone and Tsurugi sat on the edge of the stage instrument-less; swinging his legs nonchalantly while he stared out into the empty live house with his hands shoved deep into hoodie pockets.

Rehearsals… Mao was finally beginning to understand what Kyo had been trying to tell him these past few weeks,

“A live show is like sex…” the more mature vocalist had once told him, as they shared a cigarette outside a bar one wasted weekend not too long ago; the rush of city air and the smog of traffic making Mao’s eyes water as he stared towards the sky, “You only need to get it right once. On the night. Rehearsals are for losers…”

“Why say that?” Mao had asked lamely, taking back the Marlboro Kyo was offering him and taking a long drag,

“’Cause it’s the musical version of masturbation.” Kyo had replied, somewhat witty-like, “You can jerk yourself off all you like, but it’s never gonna do any good when you shove your cock in later is it?”

Mao had never been surprised with Kyo’s half-assed analogies; relating everything to sex, drugs and rock n’ roll. In some weird way, Mao had started to see sense in some of them. Mostly it was just Kyo being an egotistical know-it-all,

“So, basically what you’re saying is… fuck the system?” Mao asked smugly,

“Yeah… and fuck it hard.”

Mao smirked and joined Tsurugi in gazing out into open blackness; onto empty seats that would be filled later tonight with excited chatter and the adrenaline smear of sweat. Mao often wondered if Kyo really had stopped to think about his fans just for one second; and the fact that rehearsals _did_ matter. What was the point of being in a band if your sound was shit on stage?

Well, Kyo was beyond all sense of reasoning, Mao knew this much. On a more saddened note, he knew that if things had been different this time round, not every single seat would have been empty.

Kyo would have been there. Possibly shouting abuse at the band and disgruntling Mao’s backstage staff, but he would at least be there to watch.

Not today.

Mao thought about giving him a call, though he knew his time would be wasted. It would be a quick, “Hi, how are you?” before Kyo would grunt nothing more than one syllable, and hang the phone straight up again.

After the live show had ended six hours later, Mao found himself driving straight to Kyo’s place anyway.

He hadn’t been able to stand it. Not having Kyo there to tell him what he was doing wrong or how he could better himself. Mao admitted, there was some secret part of him that loved having Kyo there to watch. He loved having Kyo’s eyes on him, loved the way he shouted at him even… everything about Kyo’s ignorant and incompetent attitude was something Mao adored.

He ended up wondering how everything had all managed to change within the space of a few weeks. Kyo’s vocal chords had taken the strain on that impetuous long tour Mao had warned him not to take on. As much as he was pleased Kyo was coming home early, after missing him so, the state the blonde haired man had been in when Mao first laid eyes on him was something he never wanted to witness ever again.

Sure, Kyo had been sick before… and Mao knew well not to fuss as the other man would only kick up a storm. Kyo hated being powerless. He was one of those people who preferred to stand on their own two feet, not “pussy-foot around”, in Kyo’s own words.

Still, Mao wanted to see him. Even if it was a quick glimpse and barely a greeting before the door was slammed in his face again. Most times, Kyo couldn’t resist him and Mao wanted to let him know how tonight’s show went.

Mao was somewhat thankful the snow had cleared, and he enjoyed the smooth roll of his car’s tyres against tarmac as he turned into Kyo’s street. Mao always figured Kyo had never been the type to settle down in a small town house, but the older had blamed it on a need for personal space and to escape from Tokyo’s socialist rejects. Mao had to admire his “what I want, I get” attitude. He often wondered why he put up with his selfish way of thinking, being one of Kyo’s very few friends as well as the occasional enemy.

Mao had pulled up outside Kyo’s house soon enough, heart pounding as he climbed the small number of steps to Kyo’s front door, though he was confused as to why. Sure, the last time he had seen Kyo was back outside the bar receiving Kyo’s delusional words of wisdom, and the other man had seemed just fine. Normal, in fact, which in Kyo’s book was far from a common rarity.

Mao flicked the sweat slicked strands of his dark brown hair out of his eyes, still feeling very sticky and his throat throbbing from two hours worth of singing. As he pressed a hesitant finger to Kyo’s doorbell, he took a much needed swig from the bottle of water he’d borrowed from the front of Kei’s drum set.

It didn’t take long for Kyo to answer, and the blonde opened the door with a beer in one hand, half-naked and settled in his favourite stonewashed jeans, jean chain swinging by his hip.

Mao’s eyes run over him briefly; he looked a little sluggish, and Mao feared he may have woken him from a much-needed nap. Those prescription drugs couldn’t be doing much good for his daily routine,

“Thought you might show up…” Kyo mumbled at last, his voice small and strained, but better than before, which is why Mao smiles a little,

“Sorry.” Mao’s voice isn’t so strong itself, “I just thought you might wanna know how my show went.”

Kyo scrunches his lips momentarily, before his feet stepped backwards and he left the door open for Mao to follow.

Mao did, a little under confidently, and took care to close the door behind him. Kyo’s living room was surprisingly tidy, aside from a few notepads strewn on every plausible surface. Mao understood that; it must be driving Kyo mad not to be able to sing, what else could he do but write more material? Now was as good a time as any to vent, Mao figured,

“You want a beer or something?” Kyo asked him, heading through to the kitchen.

Mao simply held up his half-empty bottle of peach water, “I’m good, thanks.”

There was a sense of awkwardness in the air; Mao just didn’t know whether it originated from Kyo or himself. Though, Kyo did seem a little…

“Are you okay?” Mao asked gently, having been to Kyo’s place many times before and figuring it was okay to seat himself on the couch without Kyo’s permission, “Keeping up with your meds?”

“When I want a babysitter I’ll ask for one…” Kyo shot back, predictably, and Mao sent a smile searing to the carpet below his feet,  
  
“You look like shit yourself.” Kyo noted, sitting cross legged on the scuffed armchair opposite Mao, and the younger noticed Kyo had a DVD on pause on the TV behind his shoulder, “ _I_ never look that bad do I?”

“Watching _Saw_ again are you?” Mao ignored the question and sighed, taking a sip of his water. Just because his damn band got chosen for the soundtrack…

Kyo glanced to the screen behind him and shrugged, “Your point is? It’s a good movie…”

“ _Good_?” Mao scoffed, “Kyo, it’s full of shit. It’s mainly girls with huge tits running naked from a deranged serial killer.”

Kyo offered him a sideways glance, “Like I said… your point is?”

Mao laughed weakly, “You’re unbelievable.”

“Afraid I get turned on by a bit of blood and gore, that it?” Kyo smirked in that sultry way of his, tilting his beer bottle to his lips so Mao had the chance to seethe at him,

“No… I just didn’t know you liked… _those_ types of girls, that’s all.”

Mao failed to see why he should even be bothered,

“Mao, since _when_ do all girls we know run around naked afraid some loser’s gonna slash ‘em up?” Kyo rolled his eyes, “Besides, I thought you were here to talk about your shitty little live, not my taste in vaginas.”

Mao frowned, “Do you have to be such a blunt dick about everything?”

Kyo gave another half-hearted shrug, “Maybe.”

Mao stared at the carpet again, recently vacuumed by the looks of things. He knew Kyo would be like this, making fun and caught up in self loathing. Mao, of course, understood that too; Kyo wished he was back on stage instead of Mao. It was Mao Kyo wanted to be sat at home with nothing to do; sipping beer and watching shitty movies all night long while _Kyo_ exchanged the story. _Kyo_ took the fame.

Mao used to admire that once… only now it was beginning to worry him that Kyo would never let go of it. Nor care about anyone else’s achievements. Particularly Mao’s. Who had a right since Kyo was the one who offered to take the young vocalist under his wing all those years ago,

“Just tell me straight that you don’t wanna hear about my tour final, you might as well save your time.” Mao requested, somewhat tiredly, the fatigue of tonight’s show was starting to catch up with him and the salty taste of Aki’s tongue inside his mouth was still strong. Mao had thought about cutting back the fan service anyway…

“Alright.” Kyo shrugged… _again,_ “I don’t wanna hear about your night.”

Mao gladly accepted that he should have kept driving north and ignored his need to see Kyo. What annoyed him was why he still wanted to see this low waste of space when Mao could have been having drinks and toasting to the success of another tour’s end with his other band mates. But no… he had to come to this piece of shit,

“Fine. I’ll leave you to wallow in your stupid self-pity.” Mao hissed irritably, “I knew coming here was a waste of time…”

“Then why did you?” Kyo stood up and followed Mao as he stalked back towards the front door.

Mao placed two fingers to his temple, “To be honest Kyo…”

Mao looked into the other’s dark eyes, and his heart raced faster than he could will it to slow down,

“… I don’t know any more.”

The dim light of the lampshade from one corner of the room cast shadows softly against Kyo’s face and Mao’s eyes dragged over his tattoos… his chest… his nipples… hard and erect…

“You can be such a spoiled brat sometimes.” Kyo mumbles at him, putting his beer down on the nearby coffee table next to freshly written lyrics, folding his arms, “You honestly thought it was a good idea to come and rub it in my face that your band’s getting more fucking fame than mine?”

Mao shook his head slowly, “I wasn’t rubbing it in. I just thought you’d be…” he struggled to even say it,

“What, Mao?” Kyo demanded angrily, “You thought I’d… _what_ –?”

“- Be _happy for me!!_ ” Mao blared at last. He just wanted Kyo to notice, for one damn second, that not everything was about him. Sometimes Mao needed to look up to him, sure. But what about when Mao was tired of being looked down upon?

“But no, you never do ‘being happy’ do you, Kyo huh?” Mao seethed, his voice breaking with the strain it had already been put under. Another shouting match wouldn’t exactly help, but Mao didn’t necessarily care. His tour was over; he could wreck his voice all he liked now,

“I mean, what the actual _fuck_ is wrong with you?!” he continued angrily, meeting Kyo’s eyes head on as the blonde stared at him somewhat unaffected, “You get sick and you turn into a selfish little diva, soaking up all the attention, not letting anyone get another word in!”  
  
Mao threw his bottle of water to the floor, not caring if it burst or not, instead letting it bounce out of his sight,  
  
“I texted you, I called you, I came round to your house to make sure you were okay! I mean, I know you _hate_ being fussed over but _when_ will you accept the fact that there are people who _fucking_ care about you?!”

Mao was shaking, and he couldn’t stand Kyo staring at him like that. That same look he _always_ gave him, the one that told him no matter what he wanted to shout at him, there was no way he could change who Kyo was,

“You about done?” was all Kyo had to offer as a sordid apology.

Mao shook his head, fearing he may just burst into tears there and then,

“You know what, _screw this_! I don’t need you as my mentor any more, you can sink yourself into oblivion all you like, I’m _tired_ of caring!” Mao couldn’t help himself; not getting _any_ kind of reaction from Kyo was driving him over the edge.  
  
Was it even possible for Kyo to be like this? After everything they had been through together? The countless times Mao had feared for his future; when Sora left the band and it was a race against time to find a new drummer; when Aki had threatened to quit after Tsurugi made out with his girlfriend in a drunken moment of misjudgement. And that was barely the start.

Mao had turned to Kyo in those moments; those times when everything felt like it was going to fall apart. The only person that had been holding up Mao’s dented structure of mental wellbeing was in fact… Kyo.

But what was the point of carrying on if Kyo didn’t even care about him any more?

Mao decided enough had been said, turning round to yank Kyo’s front door open so he could get the hell out of there. He needed some space, some air… perhaps Kei had already come back to the apartment. Mao was hoping he’d saved some alcohol for him if he had,

“And where the hell do you think you’re going…?” Kyo’s voice came behind him, quickly followed by the older man’s hand reaching over Mao’s shoulder to push the door shut again.

Mao spun around, “What the fuck are y-?”

Kyo caught Mao’s wrist in his hand and pinned it against the door high above Mao’s head. Again, Kyo’s incredibly dark eyes were boring into Mao’s own and he couldn’t stand it,

“K-Kyo…” Mao gasped shakily; wanting to scream at Kyo to let him go, but something was stopping him and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was. Kyo stood perfectly still, saying nothing, not even offering an explanation for this brief moment of entrapment.

Instead, total silence descended upon them. Mao was still shaking like a leaf after letting everything out, and his anger was getting the better of him even now. Kyo probably acknowledged Mao’s intensely heavy breathing, after working himself into such a state, and Mao couldn’t find anything to calm himself down.

To the younger’s complete surprise, Kyo’s finger came towards Mao’s face, brushing a still-damp strand of hair back from his eyes. It then proceeded to glide down his cheekbone towards his lips, parted as Mao tried to control the trembly exhales that came thick and fast one after the other.

It didn’t exactly help that Kyo’s movements were uncharacteristically soft… as the older man ran his index finger over the gently plump skin of Mao’s bottom lip. Kyo still had a firm hold on Mao’s wrist, and Mao soon found that pressure squeezing even tighter,

“Did you kiss him?”

Mao blinked, “Who?”

Kyo’s head slowly slanted to one side, “Kei… did you kiss him on stage?”

“No…” Mao blushed, “And even if I did, what’s it to you?”

Kyo’s finger continued to brush Mao’s lip softly,

“Well I know you kissed _someone_ tonight.” He persisted, leaning in closer to Mao’s ear, the brunette flinching a little, confused yet aroused at the same time. And both he knew were such wrong feelings to have…

“Whoever they were… bit your lip. Hard…” Kyo moaned a little, and Mao felt something pressed against his crotch harden,

“I-It was Aki…” Mao managed to stammer, as Kyo’s heated breath warms his ear, the finger stroking his lip falling to lift up his chin, and the two’s dark eyes were intertwined once more, “We kissed on stage… for the fans.” Mao finished, feeling his face grow hot under such intense pressure.

Why was Kyo suddenly acting like this? Was he playing Mao in some kind of game?

Kyo smiled a little, and his teeth dragged over his lip playfully,

“Shame I wasn’t there to see it…”

Mao quickly snatched his head away as Kyo leaned closer, and Mao was horrified when his lips dusted the base of Mao’s neck instead,

“I-I didn’t think you even _wanted_ to be there…” Mao managed to murmur bitterly; to which Kyo pressed his wrist back against the door roughly and Mao grunted under the pain, soon face to face with Kyo once again, not looking as angry as he had expected him to be.

Mao breathed heavily against the other man’s cheek and Kyo’s hand smoothed under to grab his neck rigidly.

Something changed in Kyo’s eyes… Mao couldn’t pinpoint what it was but he was almost certain it wasn’t anger or hate. If that had been the case Kyo would have punched him already and kicked him out of the house.

But this was different. His eyes had softened, his face was gentler… and his gaze flickered between Mao’s lips and his eyes. Somehow Mao felt he was being stripped layer by layer,

“Kyo…” Mao breathed at last, not sure what else to say before Kyo shushed him, shaking his head.

That was when he leaned in… catching Mao’s lips in a firm, but loving, kiss. Mao’s eyes widened at first, taken aback by Kyo’s sudden burst of affection; all the more confused by a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him feel increasingly sick.

Despite this, Kyo’s kiss was so forceful that Mao couldn’t help but kiss him back, letting the wild thoughts in his mind drift to the background for now. Mao moaned inside Kyo’s mouth, to which Kyo linked his fingers with Mao’s still held high above their heads, soon sliding down until they were level with their shoulders.

Mao wasn’t sure whether to be angry or not, though he found himself intentionally hitting the back of his head a number of times against the door the more Kyo grabbed him and pulled him closer, forcing the kiss deeper. Mao vaguely wondered what was wrong with him… what was wrong with the _both_ of them? They had been shouting at each other mere moments ago and now they were engaged in passion like nothing had even happened.

This isn’t right…

“Kyo…” Mao tried to say, though Kyo just grabbed the sides of his face roughly and held him in place, his fingers tearing tightly through his hair and Mao whimpered against the doorframe. He could feel Kyo’s tongue fishing at the entrance to his mouth, searching for Mao’s own muscle hidden tentatively at the back of his throat, and Mao couldn’t help but give in to it.

Soon enough, though, he found himself pushing against Kyo’s naked chest, trying to tear him away… unable to breathe, Kyo was so heavily engaged,

“Kyo, _stop!_ ”

Mao wriggled out of his grasp and eventually managed to shove Kyo backwards; with such force Kyo almost ended up toppling over his own armchair.

Mao stood shaking beside the door, his mouth dry as he could taste Kyo like bitter acid on the tip of his tongue. Kyo eyed him carefully, as Mao stood panting and looking on the very verge of tears, and even Kyo himself seemed a little overcome by his actions,

“Mao… come on.” Kyo said at last, stepping towards Mao again, with a little less speed this time, “I know the _real_ reason why you came to see me tonight.”

Mao shook his head, “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…” _Oh God, I can still taste him… feel his touch all over me…_

“Yes you do.” Kyo replies simply… tenderly… as he reaches to take Mao’s hand again, only for the younger man to snatch it away,

“How much have you had to drink?” Mao blurted out suddenly, noting the intense smell of alcohol on the other’s breath and wondering how he could have missed it before, “Kyo that’s _enough,_ stop staring at me like that!”

Mao’s mentor? His oldest friend and his idol? Mao couldn’t wrap his head around it… one minute Kyo wanted nothing to do with him but then all of a sudden… out of _nowhere…_

“Mao, it’s okay…” Kyo told him, in an attempt to be as soothing as possible, something which Kyo simply wasn’t good at; nor something he’d even _wanted_ to be good at, “You don’t have to fight it, I already know…”

Mao had a small mental step back; how could Kyo have possibly known that he’d held his feelings deep down all this time? Mao had always thought himself to be way out of Kyo’s league. That and Kyo acted overly straight anyway so Mao hadn’t even felt the intention to try and make Kyo something more to him…

Even if all this time Kyo already _had_ meant more,

“… I’m leaving.” Mao breathed at last, “Please don’t follow me…”

“Mao!!” He heard Kyo call after him, though Mao couldn’t have moved any faster if he’d tried, his legs wobbling as he ran down the small drive to his car still parked discreetly on the street.

He was glad Kyo didn’t chase after him, and he ran a hand over his face, shaking uncontrollably as he struggled to unlock the car and hurry inside.

He didn’t look back the entire journey home.

 

*

 

It had only been a day when Mao finally heard from Kyo again; on Saturday morning once Mao had stepped out of the shower, drying his hair as he sauntered naked into his bedroom to find his phone vibrating on his bed.

Despite himself, Mao hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the kiss he’d shared with the older man. He also hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the fight they’d had and what an uncaring, ungrateful human being Kyo could be at the best of times, sick or not.

Mao couldn’t help but let worry descend over his shoulders as he opened the message:

 

**[Sender: Kyo]**

**Hey,**

**Hope you’re okay. I wanna talk to you if you’ll let me.**

**I’ll come by your place at 5? x**

 

Mao’s eyes narrowed at the small kiss Kyo had added at the end; slightly concerned that Kyo never handed out kisses.

_Ever._

Mao sighed and threw his phone back onto his pillow, hearing Kei turn on the stereo in the living room and the hiss of a frying pan as he went about making breakfast; enjoying his new found holiday at long last.

Mao wished he could do the same. He hadn’t even told Kei about what happened last night, the drummer probably too drunk to remember anything Mao would have told him anyway,  
  
“This better be good.” Mao had answered the door, at which Kyo appeared at exactly 5pm on the dot, “I can usually put up with most of your twisted shit Kyo, but this has gone far enough.”

“Yeah… usually I don’t come on to people as quickly as that.” Kyo offered as an apology, scratching his head as he followed Mao into his bedroom; getting some privacy away from Kei, who was shooing both men out of the room whilst blaring instructions into his Xbox 360 headset. Mao wasn’t even sure Kei had acknowledged that Kyo was in the room,

“Kyo, you shouldn’t even be coming onto me at all.” Mao whined, pulling an old university hoodie over his head, his raven hair extra fluffy after that shower he took this morning; the first time it hadn’t been abused by straighteners for months,

“Yeah… I know.” Kyo said softly, his voice barely more than a whisper, and Mao wondered how he had become this shy little boy-like figure who was standing before him just now.

Mao had spent the better half of last night trying to piece together the events of before like an incomplete jigsaw puzzle. Try as he might, their kiss had still felt like some distant dream; Mao caught up in his own fairytale world. One where Kyo wasn’t so domineering, pessimistic and using, and would happily take Mao into his arms because he saw the younger man as more than just a quick release.

Mao knew that most of Kyo’s relationships were one quick fuck away from being downright failures. He was never romantic, never kind to others unless he had an extremely good reason. Beyond that, no romantic endeavour of his lasted more than a week at the most. All the while Mao had hopelessly watched one poor soul come in after the other, never to be seen again afterwards. And Mao, being the hopeless romantic, had tried so hard to give up on what feelings he’d had for Kyo; for one knowing it would be way out of Kyo’s standards to go out with a guy almost ten years his junior.

The other? Mao knew Kyo considered himself too much of a celebrity to date someone with lower status.

Mao didn’t really blame him, but it annoyed him all the same.

Why did Kyo choose last night of all nights to make his move?

“Oh come on Mao, stop looking at me like that will ya?” Kyo huffed at last, softly kicking the edges of Mao’s bedroom rug, and Mao realised he’d been staring into space for some time, “What happened, happened, can’t we just make up and move on?”

“No, not really.” Mao huffed back, equally as impatient, “For one thing, I’m not some plaything I’m gonna let you fuck and then be on your way.”

Kyo didn’t tear his eyes from the floor, “Who ever said you were?”

Mao’s stomach dropped at that sentence, “Isn’t that what happens with everyone else you kiss?”

Kyo spent only a moment in thought, “Maybe. But then… _maybe_ that’s not the way I feel about you…”

Mao stood merely a few steps away from Kyo and suddenly felt the need to sit down, seating himself against the end of his bed,

“How _do_ you feel about me…?” Mao had to ask. He couldn’t even bring himself to look Kyo in the eye.

It wasn’t long before Kyo’s blonde complexion was kneeling in front of him; Kyo’s hands resting lightly on Mao’s thighs, and the younger man could feel the warmth of his palms radiating through his jeans. To his small despair, being this close to him made his heart flutter a little,

“Okay, I admit it.” Kyo began, barely softer than a whisper, “I saw myself in you that day. The first time I heard you sing, it was like I used to be… doing whatever I could to get by. To _make it._ ”

Mao looked up at him… and found Kyo doing the same. Those dark eyes gleaming into his again… Mao still couldn’t take it,

“You only took me under to fulfill your own ego, is that it?” Mao mumbled bitterly, staring at Kyo’s smooth fingers still perched by his knees,

“Of course I didn’t.” Kyo retorted, though far from an aggressive retaliation like Mao was expecting, “I took you under because I… I _wanted_ you to make it Mao.”

Mao’s heart started thudding in his chest at this new knowledge. Kyo had never said anything like this to him before; he couldn’t imagine where it was all coming from,

“You were so beautiful…” Kyo whispered, tentatively coming up to thread his fingers through the strands of Mao’s feathery hair, “… You still are. You put up with me, you take care of me, you –“

Kyo cut himself short, taking a moment to breathe and Mao couldn’t help but look him in the eye.

He really _was_ being sincere,

“- You _know_ me. You’re probably one of the few people that do.” Kyo smiles very shyly, and Mao is consciously aware of his fingers still running through his hair with affection; a touch that sent his spine tingling with electric,

“And I’ve never had someone that I wanted to be with more… than you.”

Mao’s eyebrows twitched upwards in surprise; forcing himself to swallow even though he found it difficult.

Kyo’s words…

“I always thought I was out of your league.” Mao manages to say quietly, “It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’ve only ever wanted to be with _you_ Kyo…”

They find themselves smiling at each other, though Mao didn’t allow himself to become completely overthrown by the feelings tugging at his heartstrings right now. There was something else lying behind those eyes, Mao could tell. Even if they were no longer scanning him but… they were admiring him.

Mao stared into them, willing Kyo to kiss him. To make love to him right here on this bed…

Kyo did just that, cupping his hand around Mao’s neck and meeting their lips together softly, Mao no longer scared like he was last night. Kyo’s lips were so gentle on his own and Mao let himself melt into them, bringing up the confidence to slip his arms around Kyo’s warm waist and pull the other closer to him.

Kyo tasted faintly of cigarettes and Mao felt his tongue lingering at the entrance, inviting Mao’s lips to suck on the soft muscle.

Mao felt the hands still wrapped in his hair move down to his hip, as Kyo rose up to lean over the younger man, Mao letting himself fall back onto the duvet beneath him and watching as Kyo’s legs landed either side of him.

Kyo played with Mao’s lip piercing, of which the younger didn’t mind; enjoying the feeling of Kyo’s tongue rolling around the silver piece before he was distracted by the desire to kiss Mao once again.

Mao couldn’t help himself; his shaky fingers already unbuttoning the bottom of Kyo’s shirt as the other removed the denim jacket he’d arrived in. Both items of clothing were tossed to the floor within seconds, and Kyo was straddling Mao yet again, pulling at the hoodie Mao had only just dressed himself in.

Mao had seen Kyo half-naked many times before; in live concerts, in the backstage suites, even in the summer when Kyo would take to walking the streets of the city with his T-shirt in hand and tattoos on display for all to see. But never had Mao understood Kyo’s body to be so beautiful; smoothing his hand over those tattoos whilst Kyo pressed rough kisses to the inside of his neck; Mao releasing a soft groan as Kyo marked a love bite… a secret seal of approval.

Mao turned his head and Kyo grinned as his teeth detached themselves from Mao’s skin, biting his lip lustily as impatient hands worked Mao’s belt, Kyo not even having to look. He was an expert at this by far, Mao had figured, and he sighed as his arousal was set free at last and Kyo was tossing his jeans and underwear to the floor.

Kyo was fast; stripping himself in moments and Mao let his eyes linger on the older’s hard and fully erect cock, teasing a sigh from both of them as Kyo leaned over Mao once more; the heads bumping against each other.

Mao could feel Kyo leaking over him, and he moaned into Kyo’s kiss somewhat loudly, his hips twitching upwards only to be held back down again by Kyo’s rough hands.

Kyo ran his lips over every patch of Mao’s skin he could find; as though Mao himself was a piece of rare artwork. Mao closed his eyes as he felt the cooling moisture of Kyo’s tongue spread over his collarbone… down his arm,,, across his hip… down towards his stomach… only stopping before Mao could get excited about where they might go next,

“I want you…” Kyo whispered roughly, and by the way he was rubbing himself up against Mao, rousing long and deep groans from the younger brunette, Mao knew he had to relieve himself. Mao knew just what he meant; he was about ready to burst, merely from Kyo’s kisses and touches alone, and he feared he wouldn’t take long to reach his climax,

“I know…” Mao moaned against his ear, having pulled Kyo back towards him and rocking his hips against him, loving the way Kyo sighs heavily in his ear, more kisses attacking his lips once again; Kyo was loving this,

“Take me…” Mao whispered, almost breathless and he glanced towards his dick, standing so painfully tall it was almost directed at the ceiling.

Kyo didn’t hesitate to agree, and Mao sat himself up briefly, bringing his head over Kyo’s cock and taking it in his mouth slowly, loving the sound Kyo made above him; feeling the strands of his hair being gripped and pulled. Mao swirled his tongue around the head, being careful not to stimulate Kyo too much, tasting more and more of Kyo’s cum spilling against his cheeks and he knew Kyo must be in almost an equal state of torture.

Only when he felt he’d lubricated Kyo enough did Mao leave him alone, somewhat reluctantly, and he felt a grin tug at his lips as he felt his hips being pushed higher, Kyo pressing a quick, hard kiss to the inside of Mao’s thigh as he settled himself between them, Kyo’s breathing hard.

Mao closed his eyes, ready for the incoming pain. Though Kyo had been somewhat lubricated, Mao knew it wasn’t enough to send the burn away; yet he yearned the feeling of Kyo’s length inside of him, throbbing and pulsating… ready to release deep inside his inner walls…

“Aah!” Mao gasped, Kyo having a firm hold on his hips as he slowly pushed himself in, Mao clenching around him unintentionally as he felt his muscles stretch in places they shouldn’t,

“It’s okay, it’s okay…” Kyo whispered as a small reassurance, though holding back a groan as Mao’s muscles tightened around his cock again, Kyo pulling out slowly and back in again, a searing sting coming wave after wave and Mao couldn’t help but grunt against each one,

“Just relax, Mao…” Kyo soothed somewhere in front of him, Mao feeling the other’s breath ghosting over his knees as Kyo soothed him in what ways he could.

Mao opened his watering eyes to see Kyo concentrating on the matter in hand, Mao groaning inwardly as Kyo pushed back in again, Mao trying his best not to tense up,

“Ah! Kyo…” Mao whispered, gasping again at the pleasure that was slowly working its way through, Kyo taking his time and pulling himself out again… slowly thrusting in once more.

Their eyes locked and Mao felt himself leak a little, Kyo’s eyes lowering as Mao felt his own pre-release trickle over his balls. Kyo took them in his free hand and rolled them in his palm, Mao moaning heavily at the wave of ecstasy that hit him with considerable force,

“Ahh…” Mao whimpered, Kyo moving all the way inside of him and Mao could certainly feel it. Kyo was deliciously rigid as he thrust deep inside him again, a greater sting than before running through his spine,

“You’re doing great…” Kyo mumbled, now far enough to comfort Mao with a small kiss to the lips, Mao wrapping his arms around his neck and holding him there. Tasting him over and over, Mao kissed Kyo back as if his life depended on it.

Kyo groaned against him as he started to thrust harder; Mao moaning and sighing against his lips the faster Kyo moved and Mao could no longer feel the pain that came with it; just relishing the feeling of Kyo’s hard cock grinding against his anal walls and filling him head to toe in white hot pleasure.

It didn’t take long for Kyo to come, the older man biting hard into Mao’s neck, his body shivering beyond his control as Mao held him; the sweet moans of both men filling the room.

Kyo let out a muffled groan against Mao’s sweat-smeared skin as he rode out what remained of his somewhat forceful orgasm. Mao felt Kyo’s sweet release leaking hotly inside him, almost at the brink of letting go himself; even as Kyo convulsed against him, Mao kept his arms firmly locked around him.

His palms sweating profusely, Mao moulded them around Kyo’s warm ass, pushing him inside him just that little bit further; feeling the wetness of Kyo’s release trickle out of his entrance as Mao pushed his cock in deeper.

Mao moaned softly as Kyo’s length brushed his prostate, an incredible wave of heat surging through his body.

Kyo lifted his head lazily as he began thrusting again, wanting to bring Mao to the edge as well. Mao knew he was eager for it, deliberately moaning against his ear, pressing their lips together with intensified tongue play.

Mao gasped as Kyo made sure to slam into the same spot over and over again, dragging his nails through the permanent artwork along Kyo’s back, and Kyo hissed roughly, smoothing Mao’s damp hair out of his face ready for another kiss; Mao catching his teeth accidentally as Kyo thrust faster and harder,

“Come on…” Kyo managed under his breath, watching Mao’s face contort and writhe underneath him as he couldn’t take each wave of pleasure that came one after the other, “Come on Mao, cum for me…”

Mao couldn’t help the cries that erupted somewhere deep inside his already damaged voice box; he felt his body shuddering beyond his control,

“Come on baby…” Kyo whispered, a sudden drive of his hips forcing another cry from Mao’s lips, so very close to the edge; Kyo’s sudden affection turning him on all the more.

He did cum at long last, as Kyo’s lips took over his own once more, ramming his tongue deep inside the other man’s throat and Mao screamed into his mouth as he came, lathering Kyo’s stomach in his solution as much as his own.

Mao held onto Kyo with shaking arms; their chests rising and falling almost at the same rate, Mao calming down from his sweet release as he felt Kyo’s fingers thread gently through the strands of his matted hair,

“That was… amazing.” Mao managed to breathe at last, Kyo’s length still semi-hard inside of him and Mao had to bite his lip not to moan at the feeling.

Kyo didn’t say anything, simply lying limp against Mao’s chest, his fingers feebly smoothing over Mao’s bicep in small circles,

“Kyo…?” Mao began nervously, Kyo answering with a mere, “Mm?”

“… You meant everything you said before, right?” Mao worked up the courage to ask, his breathing having smoothed out at last, his arms still holding Kyo’s waist… not wanting to let him go,

“Of course I did.” Kyo answers almost immediately, lifting his head to meet Mao’s troubled gaze, “I don’t want you worrying, alright? Everything’s gonna be okay between us.”

Mao nodded gently, letting Kyo kiss him softly,

“You promise?” Mao whispered against his lips,

“I promise.” Kyo smiles, again very shyly, and Mao finds it to be incredibly adorable, letting his grip around Kyo’s waist wind around him that little bit tighter, “You don’t know what you’re in for… going out with a pain in the ass such as myself.”

Mao smiled wryly, “Ah, what the hell. Fuck the system right?”

Kyo laughed softly, snatching a quick kiss while Mao was still grinning,

“And fuck it hard baby. Fuck it hard…”

 

*

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I thought it was about time I cross-posted my other fics from the years they have been sitting on my LiveJournal~ (^^; ) Enjoy! <3


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